Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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