Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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