She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm sobbing to NWA
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize