I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
