This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You took a bar mat shot.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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