You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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