I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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