insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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