She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I could fuck to npr.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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