I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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