i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
