Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
