1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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