You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
