I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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