After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
