I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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