K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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