Christians are straight up FREAKS
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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