The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
