If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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