Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
