You're completely useless in the revolution.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
