My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
