I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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