Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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