the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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