You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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