Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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