Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
