I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize