he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
