The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
