I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
