What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
