so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
