I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
