Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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