I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
