Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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