You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
