all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
