god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
