I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
True strength comes from lack of pants
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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