Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have fence marks all over my body
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
