Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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