you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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