my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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