i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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