She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
