I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
