we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
