As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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