You're so nebulous sometimes
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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