Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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