I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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