Sponge bath it is.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
