i just google imaged poop.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didn't notice because vodka
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
